sick sullen madrigal, five other voices breaking through me. fever sweat dreams brushing off hung noose poison paranoia's, can't I have a proper english soul? petticoat, practicing chopin, stifled. a breaking free jazz pianist in colored turbans, icy crystal beads singing from my cape, as I blaze around in blue spotlights, leaving babies and parents behind at war camps, running train tattered, placing weathered dolls and home sewn horses into barely packed suitcases. to only own few things of great importance, only ever owning consuming thoughts, french country side carriage rides and giggling swing trips into the gullies of the brain garden.
packing up, packing up bottles of glass and tiny tins, wrapping pain into packing paper, hoping to pad it from future quakes, remembering sun shone through a basement window, rays dancing on my worldly treasures, porcelain horses and crying musical clowns, so vividly stuck, sewn in with feelings of 1989.
recording desperate sounds onto tape, rewinding. peach flapper gowns and riversides choking out deep tunneling chemical headaches, that have been long burrowed listening in thick heated caverns. expanding to fill the hallows, trickling ceases to a water hush, as everything become silent and meaningless,
seemingly starved for awakening embarrassment, words punching out of my mouth at such a rapid pace, scattered, tracing the lines I drew in my dreams last night, closing my eyes, a blanket buzzing vision like an old television screen, I painted your portrait again, somehow each time it turns out completely different, a shudder, if I could stack apologies on your body, I would. staying silent. outside the crows wake in the new day, their caws calls backwards behavior, you'd think I'd have learned to be nice by now.
cause child, sand play seems so far away, and beyond my star gaze capabilities, a babbling hum, knowing sleep will solve all the worlds problems. guilt stabbing stomach pain, that my doctor looks so good, and these pills, they taste so good, sleeping will solve all the worlds problems, sleeping through the underbelly, sleeping through currents of blood and shelter, a doze, a doze for the sake of loving.
there are millions of lines in my hands, I can't stand to look at them, they are disgusting.
sleeping so that I can see the lines disappear. sleeping so that I can forget everything done by man and machine.
there are tiny veins in my eyes, I can't stand the feeling of them rolling around, pumping muddy dirty blood, pumping what kills innocence.
sleeping for my grandmother to come home again, sleeping for her worlds to speak to my soul.
there are times I can't see her when I close my eyes, there are times I get so frightened she is lost, not tangible. something sacred to save my soul, something sacred to wake me up. while I'm sleeping through her pain.
Young man, first love; on the street in front of my childhood home, do you remember when I sang your song? I sang it all the way down this road. Sang of your diamond arms and the deep six am love. Lost track of prose and prayer, a year passed by becomes porous with dust bunnies. I zip up old wool, eleven hours left. Grass blades dead lights, attic. Music box shatters with a tilted head. Tiny shards of sound waves rush around the room turning to dust. Falling to the floor. Unwound tapes. To the young man with the diamond shaped arms, do you still walk down the road of your first love? To the young man with the diamond shaped arms, do you still walk down the street of your first home? Converting time into systematic loss. Burrowing far in between musty packing peanuts and rafters. Rebuilding china plates out of sand, two hundred pages.
(taking the lyrics from high pressure days by the units and worked through a series of language translators,edited .)
02.01.09 each of us today, quite slippery and extremely attached to each other in the kelp kill for bumper cars.
bumping blindly around the hot water molecules in the fly ball, lecturer, told the other people around quickly, the pressure lines to one, and often comes into contact high
still high, the path for us at this time under pressure, changing in the pattern of phone numbers, cross-lay absent from high- pressure, hot pressed for operation in the structure of night, found.